Count Rockula

Straight from the twisted and tired mind of Oss237 comes a dark and sexy film based on Bran Flakers classic vampire story, Count Rockula.

The film tells the story of Transylvania guitarist Albert Rockula (Jimmy Trigger from TV cop show Trig & Boo), who is attacked by midget vampires onstage at a glam-metal gig in Norway. Fighting desperately to beat off the midgets with his guitar, he is bitten and transforms into Count Rockula. What follows is the darkest tale ever written, as Rockula uses his new found unholy powers to wreak havoc across the globe and transform music fans into an army of undead slaves.

Directed by Oss237, (who also plays a cameo as Rockula’s pet Werewolf), this four an a half hour epic has critics literally throwing up blood. Hailed by some as the “most ridiculously stupid thing I’ve ever seen” and by others as “the darkest, coolest film ever.” Shot entirely in a Portaloo toilet cubicle, which through the use of state of the art digital technology is transformed into a twisted version of todays world, the film already holds the record for most unnecessary amounts of shots containing breasts.

Featuring the No.1 hit single “I have come to rock your blood”, and a dance sequence which caused the fatal heart attacks of 42 female fans, one witness saying “those leather pants on Jimmy……damn, they’re just so tight!”, the film is sparking outrage with angry mothers blockaded cinemas for fear of their daughters safety.

Scumbags are living in fear all over the country as fans of the film have started attacking and biting them, many have been forced to wear leather pants and learn to speak english properly in an effort to avoid being targetted by the groups. All this is due to subliminal messages sent during the film as Oss237 tries to take over the world. The film has been tipped to take home several Oscars next year and has also been nominated for several prestigious adult film awards.